Monday, March 27, 2017

༺ Currently: It’s Madness ༻

‘Currently’ posts are a series of memoirs, featuring snapshots of one small life story by briefly touching on events that are occurring in my day-to-day journey. These episodes feature photos from my Instagram, do come and say “Hi!” if you are around. Also, if you would like to participate in this feature yourself, please feel free! I’d love to read your posts, so don’t forget to leave a link.  ♡

Thailand announcement gif

Also, this is going to be a bit of a special episode of “Currently” ~ as you probably are aware of by now, we are relocating to Thailand at the end of April ~ which, at the time of writing, is four and a half weeks, or 32 days away…. Yikes!   (ô □ ô)

I really wanted to sit down and write a more in-depth post about this move, but I think that’s going to have to wait until we get over there. Right now, I just have way too much stuff to do! But at the same time, I want to remember this journey. So I’m doing a quick update for now, but I promise we will get back to this later…. For now, here’s the update!

READING:

What I need to get a Thai visa. Where to stay in Chang Mai, How to fly with carry on, How pack for children’s carry on, How to avoid scams, How to find good internet, aka, life blood, aka: DOING ALL THE RESEARCH…

brooches-to-go

WONDERING:

If I can actually manage to get this house packed up afskegaueguiaw89r32bitJAGO!! ….!!  Most of the other important details are sorted out at this stage, which is marvellous, but dealing with an entire household of stuff to pack to store, or toss, or sell is proving to be quite a challenging process. Especially with small children.

A lot of things will need to be packed at the very last moment: {aka, next week as we are moving into my mum and dad’s house for three weeks before we go} and it’s a bit of a struggle to figure out what to pack, when to pack it, when are the cleaners coming, when are the removalists coming, etc… Scheduling is tight and painful…. (๑o̴̶ ﹏o̴̶ ๑)″  Ouch.

BLuebirds

FEELING THANKFUL:

That all those big important details {aside from the house size pile of stuff!} like flights, and passports, and accommodation, and visas and where to keep horses and cars and the like, are for the most part, all sorted out. Yay!

Copper_smile

EATING:

Um, do I even care?  Nope… Sugar. Just give me sugar and coffee plz. Kay, thx bye….

lilac-teacup

WATCHING:

All the YouTubes. All the Thailand stuff…. Hey, so that’s what an apartment in Chang Mai looks like! Oooh, that one has a pool!, and so on and so forth.  ╭( ・ㅂ・)و ̑̑ ˂ᵒ͜͡ᵏᵎ⁾✩

WORKING ON:

*twitch* ….. Packing…..

blackberry

LOVING:

….. Friends who are helping out, ditto for family. Adventure? That I finally get to travel again! And…. McDonald’s Mocha Frappes with no cream and caramel drizzle. Let’s be real here.

ATTEMPTING:

Bwahahaha…… TO RELOCATE OUR FAMILY OVERSEAS WITH ONLY CARRY ON LUGGAGE!  It’s madness I tell you! But this is us. Crazy is our family modus operandi. We planned a wedding and got married on the beach in ten days time, so of course we can relocate our family overseas in four months from woe to go… Right??! 

A-Girl-and-Her-Horse

WANTING:

To be done with all the packing, tbh.

DOING:

All the packing.

Queanbeyan-Station

xox,

bonita

༺ ♡ ༻
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Friday, March 17, 2017

༺ Candyfloss Station ༻



Queanbeyan Railway Station | Lavender & Twill

"Mariana" Dress by Miss Candyfloss Review | Lanvender & Twill

"Mariana" Dress by Miss Candyfloss Review | Lanvender & Twill

"Mariana" Dress by Miss Candyfloss Review | Lanvender & Twill

"Mariana" Dress by Miss Candyfloss Review | Lanvender & Twill

"Mariana" Dress by Miss Candyfloss Review | Lanvender & Twill

"Mariana" Dress by Miss Candyfloss Review | Lanvender & Twill

Miss L Fire Shoes | Lavender & Twill

"Mariana" Dress by Miss Candyfloss Review | Lanvender & Twill

CS_16

"Mariana" Dress by Miss Candyfloss Review | Lanvender & Twill

"Mariana" Dress by Miss Candyfloss Review | Lanvender & Twill

This weekend we took a trip back to our old stomping grounds ~ Queanbeyan! We lived there for three years or so, and I have so many good memories of our little family there. Not only that, there are many lovely old sites that have a wealth of character and history, making it one of my favourite spots to visit.

One such site is the old Queanbeyan train station. A small stop on Australia’s Sydney to Canberra line, this station was built in 1887 and has some absolutely lovely art-deco vibes about the construction. Combining my love for iron fret work,  dusty mint and cream ~ it’s everything I adore about historical Australiana architecture ~ in style and colour palette!  (灬ºωº灬)♡

And, speaking of colours ~ what better place to début this amazing “Mariana – Lee” dress by Miss Candyfloss?

It’s the first time that I’ve had the honour of working with this Swedish vintage reproduction company, but they have been on my radar for years! I really loved the jumpsuits they came out with last winter season, and I am grateful to have the chance to try one of their pieces.

The “Mariana” house wife dress is a superbly tailored, 1950s inspired frock. The navy shade is perfect for all seasons and the fabric has the most delightful hand to it. Thick, but not winter weight, the drape in the skirt provides a perfect swish when walking around, and the fabric lays smoothly over any unforgiving bumps as well as providing a nice level of stretch.

I was in between dress sizes, so I went with my waist measurements and sized down, and the dress fit like a glove, with plenty of room to move around comfortably. The cut around your shoulders and arms is generous, which is a great bonus. I often find that reproduction dresses can err on the tight side with sleeves, so I was really happy that the sleeve fit so well, and looked great with the cute cuff detail.

Of course, the scalloped neckline is instantly a favourite with me as I am mad about a good collar {this one is a *fantastic* collar if you ask me!} and the pleated bodice and matching belt add those perfect vintage touches that polish the final look. My one tiny complaint would be… a lack of pockets. I think pockets really take a dress {or skirt} to the next level, and though it would be hard to improve this dress as I do love every detail of it; I just ask for one thing ~ pockets!

When creating my ensemble, I decided to stick with really simple styling to allow this fabulous frock to shine. It’s a really versatile dress that can be accessorised to glam it up, or kept simple for day wear. I also really like how it could swing to either a 40s or 50s look depending on how you choose to style it.

This time around I went with a 1950’s feel, as my 1950s vintage hat and scallop-edge gloves echoed the navy hue and scalloped collar of the dress perfectly. I completed the ensemble with my trusty Miss L Fire shoes in nude for a twist of something unexpected!

And what vintage lady travels without her beauty case and purse? ☆(*ゝω・*)

I picked up the white beauty case when I was first finding my interest in vintage, and I’m glad I did because it’s proven to be a great hat box, as well as looking fabulous. Sadly, it won’t be coming with me on our future travel adventures, but more about that later…

I’ve been playing around with video as I would like to do more on my YouTube channel, so I’ve filmed a little outfit snippet and I’ve put a few of these all together in one “Adventures in a MINI Lookbook” video ~ so here’s this lovely dress in action!

..Half of the time I don’t even know what I’m doing here… (=⌒_⌒=)'

So what do you think of my film production skills? Haha! Do you like seeing outfits in motion? If you have any suggestions for what you’d like to see in a video, please let me know so I can make these better!  ೕ(•̀ㅂ•́ )ᵒᵏᵎᵎᵎᵎ

xox,

bonita

Disclosure |  This post was created in collaboration with Miss Candyfloss and the dress I have reviewed was sent to me, but all views and opinions expressed in this review are solely my own.

༺ ♡ ༻

1950s Navy Twist Hat | The Girl with the Star Spangled Heart
’Mariana’ Lee Navy Dress | c/o Miss Candyfloss
Vintage Scalloped Navy Gloves | eBay
“HeartBreaker” Heels in Nude | Miss L Fire
Ralph Lauren French Provincial Handbag | eBay
White Vintage Beauty Case |Thrifted

༺ ♡ ༻
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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

༺ Pink Valentine ༻

Romantic Maire Anoinette inspired look featuring Daisy Jean Floral Design Hair Flowers | Lavender & Twill

Romantic Maire Anoinette inspired look featuring Daisy Jean Floral Design Hair Flowers | Lavender & Twill

Romantic Maire Anoinette inspired look featuring Daisy Jean Floral Design Hair Flowers | Lavender & Twill

Romantic Maire Anoinette inspired look featuring Daisy Jean Floral Design Hair Flowers | Lavender & Twill

Romantic Maire Anoinette inspired look featuring Daisy Jean Floral Design Hair Flowers | Lavender & Twill

Romantic Maire Anoinette inspired look featuring Daisy Jean Floral Design Hair Flowers | Lavender & Twill

Romantic Maire Anoinette inspired look featuring Daisy Jean Floral Design Hair Flowers | Lavender & Twill

Romantic Maire Anoinette inspired look featuring Daisy Jean Floral Design Hair Flowers | Lavender & Twill

Hellooo m’dears!

I can’t truly call this my Valentine’s Day look as one: these pictures were taken ages past February 14th, and two: we didn’t celebrate Valentine's Day at all this year ~ which is actually pretty standard for us. The Mister and I personally enjoy celebrating our own day ~ our wedding anniversary ~ rather than an arbitrary holiday, but that being said; yay for a reason to dress up! ₊·*◟(˶╹̆ꇴ╹̆˵)◜‧*・

I love a good themed ensemble and although I originally had plans to create a 1910’s inspired outfit, I found when I was putting it together on me {as opposed to in my head!}, it wasn’t working out at all like I had pictured it.

So that called for plan B and I went with my second favourite style of alternative dress to period vintage ~ romantic doll style, as inspired by the ever exquisite Maire Antoinette.

Yes, I have borrowed ideas from her marvellous fashions before ~ Shall We Eat Cake? ~ but I feel like I’ve stuck more with the wearable-translation rather than the costumed-translation which is half way to a full-blown cosplay, but not quite!  Haha!

I tried out a 18th centenary makeup look and hairstyle {though I have neither enough hair or powder on said hair to be true to the period} and I have to say, it was a lot of fun to play with! {…Though certainly not an everyday look… Haha!}

I feel sure that one day I will actually delve into the realm of historical costuming. I find that as I learn about the past influences on vintage fashion design, the more I am fascinated with the history and culture paradigms that are woven in into very construction of the clothes we wore, and do wear today.

Yes, I nerd out over buttons and bonnets and corsets and caps and all the fun things that pertain to the art of moulding a two dimensional piece of fabric into a three dimensional structure! There really is nothing quite like taking something so inherently unable to be what you need in it’s raw format and coaxing it to not only take on a new shape but to become useful!

Then, if you really want to learn to master the fabric, I personally feel that studying vintage and historical techniques that you can will help you understand the innate nature of draping and design. There is so much craftsmanship that is lost in garment design these days ~ all those little details that up until the 1960s really made clothing fascinating, that helped to create the individuality and character of each piece.

Those little details ~ those are the reasons I fell into love with vintage, and when I began to understand it was the design, that drew me even further in, but whoops! I didn’t mean to turn this blog post on a dissertation of clothing design and why we should love it!

Eheh… (=⌒ _ ⌒=)'

Back to the current outfit then?

I really think these pretty Daisy Jean Floral Designs hair flowers where just the things I needed to complete this ensemble! I had three different DFJ in my hair; the peach double rose, one of their signature pieces, a white hydrangea {which is lovely and huge!} and lastly, a Valentine’s Day pink and white rose fascinator.

I’m sure you’ve already heard me ramble on about DJF ~ they do lovely themed fascinators as well as hair flowers in a huge variety of colours and styles that are wonderful for matching to any shade of ensemble you might be wearing!

And while I am not used to wearing flowers that are quite as large as the hydrangea, I just pretend it is a hat and wear it like that. ٩(• ̤̀ᵕ - ̤́๑)✧

If you are ever in need of a quality hair accessory, please do check out Daisy Jean Floral Designs! Yes, I am working in collaboration with this local Australian small business, and having tried out a wide variety of their offerings I can truly say that I adore their pieces. They create a special something for every occasion, and I simply can’t go past a pretty hair flower to finish off my outfits! Plus, I’m super excited to be able to share a coupon code with you all so that if you wish to purchase your own pretties from DJF you can use “LAVENDERTWILL10” for a discount! Yay!

Now I just need a giant picture hat with a massive feather to complete the look… Don’t you think that would be perfect? Haha!

I’m also wondering if I should try to do something Regency inspired as that is another favourite era of mine… Or Victorian. Or Edwardian ~ oh, I do find it hard to choose just one!  It’s given me lots to think about ~ you would like to see some more ensembles styled with a historical twist? Which eras do you think I should pick?

xox,

bonita

Disclosure |  Daisy Jean Floral Designs and Lavender & Twill have partnered up this year to bring to you some amazing floral hair accessories! I purchase the items at a discount and share my thoughts on the pieces. There is also a discount code for anyone wishing to purchase from Daisy Jean Floral Designs : LAVENDERTWILL10

༺ ♡ ༻

Signature Double Rose in Peach | Daisy Jean Floral Designs
Snow Hydrangea Flower | Daisy Jean Floral Designs
’Miss Martha’ Fascinator | Daisy Jean Floral Designs
Blush Velvet Choker | Forever New; embellished with miniature brooch | Thrifted
China Roses Dress | Dangerfield
Harrow Oxford in Nude | B.A.I.T. Footwear, Old

༺ ♡ ༻
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Monday, February 6, 2017

༺ 41 Blue Stairs ༻

Sydney's Old Houses and Vintage Style | Lavender & Twill

Blue Stairs, Blue Rose Hell Bunny Dress | Lavender & Twill

Miss Ellen Daisy Jean Floral Designs Facinator & Blue Rose Hell Bunny Dress | Lavender & Twill

Old brick work in Sydney, Australia | Lavender & Twill

Blue Stairs, Blue Rose Hell Bunny Dress | Lavender & Twill

'Roslyn' Hell Bunny Dress in Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

'Roslyn' Hell Bunny Dress in Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

'Roslyn' Hell Bunny Dress in Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

Blue Stairs, Blue Rose Hell Bunny Dress | Lavender & Twill

Miss Ellen Daisy Jean Floral Designs Facinator & Blue Rose Hell Bunny Dress | Lavender & Twill 

Dear friends, I want to thank each and everyone of you for the many messages of support and caring on my last post, and in other places. I really appreciate, so much more than I can say, your kind hearts and words of compassion. It is a truly warming thoughtfulness has been so uplifting to me. Thank you, and the biggest hugs to you all! ❤❤❤

That being said, I can’t seem to stay away from the pretty dresses for long… So let’s dive back into the fun realm of fashion, shall we?

This series of photographs are a bit old ~ I took them when I was in Sydney for the 2016 AAVGM. I had to share them anyway because; how sweet is my grandparents house!

Whenever I travel to Sydney, I’m always admiring the old houses you see everywhere ~ and even as a very young girl I always thought that my grandparent’s house looked really cool and interesting compared to the houses I knew.

I mean, how do you get any better than stained glass windows, brick work, and tiled stairs; no less than blue tiled stairs?!

Of course, I was quite chuffed when I discovered the happy coincidence of the blue roses on my dress matching the variegated indigo-aquamarine titles. I had planned to wear this dress without any thought of taking photos, but it worked out that I had the perfect time and place, so of course I had to do a shoot! Haha, blogger life…  ( ˘•૩•˘ ).。

This lovely frock ‘Roslyn’ is a Hell Bunny vintage reproduction, and I must note that Hell Bunny are really killing their vintage reproduction game! I have a growing collection of their dresses in my wardrobe, and I’m always on the look out for other lovelies to add as each one seems to be better than the last.

I will say that there are a few things about this dress that are a little off the mark for me; it’s a touch shorter than what I really prefer, though still a perfectly acceptable 1940’s length, and my major complaint {as with all the Hell Bunny dresses} ~ no pockets…!! :P

But other then that little nit-pick, how can you not love the Liesl-inspired bodice detail and swooshy, floaty skirt?

It’s especially lovely when paired with the delightfully sweet ‘Miss Ellen’ fascinator from Daisy Jean Floral Designs. I have worn this pretty hair piece with another outfit on the blog before, but I couldn’t resist styling it with this frock, and I’m so glad I did as it was a perfect match.  ଘ(੭ˊ꒳ˋ)੭✧

And now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure my favourite kind of ensemble involves me being covered head to toe with roses ~ or at the very least some kind of flowers. Haha! Flowers forever! ❀❤❀❤

xox,

bonita

༺ ♡ ༻
 
’Miss Ellen’ Fascinator | Daisy Jean Floral Designs
’Roslyn’ Hell Bunny Dress | eBay
Watermelon Glitter Jelly Wedges | eBay

༺ ♡ ༻
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Sunday, January 29, 2017

༺ Thoughts On Surviving Spoonie Life ༻

*Warning: this post contains discussion on physical and mental health, and may be distressing or contain triggers. Please be aware of this before proceeding.*

Black Roses - Talking about Chronic Illness and Mental Health | Lavender & Twill

Sometimes I really don’t know what to say, you know? ……

It’s not like I don’t have things that I want to write about ~ it’s just that the topic seems so huge, where do I even begin?

2016. I have to go back to 2016. For a variety of reasons, it is officially the worst year of my life.

That’s saying something as I’ve had some rough years before, and there were some pretty strong contenders for that title. However, this one takes the cake, the cow, and the blue ribbon.

Usually, at the end of each year and at the start of a new one I like to recap. I’ll look at my goals, see which ones I achieved, and make new ones. I like love making lists ~ starting out with fresh ambitions and a bright new day.

But this year, I have barely crawled out in one piece, so there’s been none of that.

Maybe you’ve been wondering why I haven’t been blogging much, and maybe you haven’t; but this is my story, and I want to share it in hopes that it might help. Not just someone out there, but me too if I’m completely honest. Writing is therapeutic for me, and I’ve missed it.

So why did I just randomly stop?

Empty - Talking about Chronic Illness and Mental Health | Lavender & Twill

It’s a long story. I hope you have a pot of tea nearby, because a cup ain’t going to cut it this time.

Two and a half years ago, when I was six months pregnant with my youngest child, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism ~ basically my thyroid gland is not working the way it should, it is not producing the thyroid hormones my body needs.

{Quick side note: The thyroid is part of the Endocrine system which is the collection of glands that produce hormones that regulate metabolism, growth and development, tissue function, sexual function, reproduction, sleep, and mood, among other things.

The endocrine system is made up of the pituitary gland, thyroid gland, parathyroid glands, adrenal glands, pancreas, reproductive systems. So basically, it affects everything.}

As I was pregnant, we couldn’t do much to treat it at the time, but could only support the rest of my body as much as possible. Even still, doing that, I was severely sick throughout the duration of my pregnancy. 36 weeks of all day “morning” sickness. Not fun.

Once Lottie was born, my body was not as sick and it seemed like things were going ok for a while, but at around six months postpartum when the last of the pregnancy hormones left my system, things took a tumble for the worse.

No matter what treatments I tried, what blood tests I took, nothing seemed to be helping ~ or it would help for a little while, then my body would adjust to the treatment and I’d regress. I’d loose all of my energy, and end up spending a lot of time on the couch or my bed. This continued for a year or so, and we made little progress treating my health problems.

And then a bunch of stuff fell apart outside of my health to make things worse. A lot worse.

Around about the middle of the year, 2016 spiralled into a series of stressful, horrid events which I could do nothing about.

Broken China - - Talking about Chronic Illness and Mental Health | Lavender & Twill

I gave up on blogging.

I gave up on riding.

I gave up on having a strong body.

I gave up on who I was, who I could be, who I wanted to become.

I gave up on everything except surviving. One day. At a time.

For everyone, survival looks like different things ~ for me, it meant that I had to accept that I was now living the life of a spoonie. I was suffocating in my own body ~ trapped by events I had no way of changing, and no control over where they took me.

I had to accept that I couldn’t do the things I wanted to, hell, most days I couldn’t even do the things I needed to.

Some days it meant that I’d force myself out of bed, crawl into whatever clothes I’d left on the floor last night, only to collapse back down on the edge of the bed ~ utterly, completely exhausted. I’d have to rest, just because I chose to lift my body upright today.

Sometimes it meant that I’d eat with my eyes closed, waiting five minutes to lift my spoon of beans to my mouth because it was too heavy to pick up. I was too tired to sustain my own body.

And sometimes I was simply doing nothing more than trying to conserve my energy, to keep it at a slow trickle to get through the day, all the while the things that I’d given up on staring me in the face.

Keeping the house clean. Cooking. Washing. Exercising. Spending time outside. Spending time playing with my children. Spending time with friends and family. Basically, anything that required energy.

I was glad for the days that were good ~ the days that I could at least put on one load of washing and not have to take a four hour nap in the afternoon, but they were happening less and less frequently. Once a week. Once a month. Once every two months…

Not at all.

And when things collapsed in the middle of the year ~ this caused a spiral of events that pushed me to the stage where I was barely functioning on a day to day basis. I shuffled around in a shell; my body a prison that kept me going but denied me the ability to live.

Every day felt like I was suffocating, smothered by the weight of my own existence. I felt like I was drowning in black tar pit that was sucking me down so deep I couldn’t even lift a finger to ask for help as I lay there, petrifying breath by breath.

Fading Away - - Talking about Chronic Illness and Mental Health | Lavender & Twill

I spent the last six months of 2016 in this hole, and I kept telling myself; I just have to get to the new year ~ I just have to get on my new medication, and I can get through this.

And to some degree, I was right.

I am on new medication now. It yanked me through the mangler as my body adjusted to it, but even as I felt sicker, somehow I still started to feel a tiny bit better. And that has been improving.

What I haven’t come to terms with yet is the damage done to my mental health as I dragged myself through this last year.

Depression.

Lack of confidence in any and all decisions I might choose to make.

Believing with all my heart that I. cannot. do. this.

Foggy thinking.

Running away from my problems.

Choosing not to give of myself, knowing that I have no energy to give.

Choosing not to care. Over, and over, and over again.

Retreating into a shell.

Shutting myself away from the world.

Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. So much damn guilt for trying to survive, but giving up on everything to do that.

Guilt…

So I ask myself as I look at all the struggle I’ve been through, now knowing that the medication may fix my body’s imbalance {God willing}, but that it won’t fix my mental health ~ this is a weakness I feel riddling me with holes. The weakness that keeps me trapped and cowering in my hole, and I ask myself ~ where do I go from here?

How do I become stronger again?

How do I survive… this?

Empty Teacup - Talking about Chronic Illness and Mental Health | Lavender & Twil

I need to ditch the unhealthy self-preservation habits ~ stress eating, stress shopping, burying myself in social media so that I don’t have to see the problems in front of my eyes… and – the silence…

I spent too much of this year trying to run away from the things around me, and too much of it locked up in my head. I was isolated. A choice I made without taking the steps to realise that I had chosen.

I didn’t talk about most of it ~ I couldn’t.

How could I make my friends and family understand how bone-achingly exhausting each and every day was for me? How could I explain that I was shattered, empty of any thing- every thing- that I had to give, to grow from? How could I explain that I wasn’t going under: I was done. Deep in the midnight zone with every inch of my body crushed by mountainous pressure…

They’d ask me how I was going; I’d say “I’m tired, but what else is new!”

Haha. So funny.

I tried not to complain because I didn’t see the point. They couldn’t change my body, change my life ~ make things simpler, or easier… They couldn’t give me what I needed.

But maybe they could have helped ease the burden that was drowning me.

I don’t know.

Maybe I should have tried to explain?

But looking back, I know why I didn’t.

Because that would have required energy I simply did not have.

It’s only now, now that I am a smidgen better, now that I am on new medications that appear to be helping my thyroid functions, that I even have the energy to really think about and analyse what I was going through.

Before then, I was simply surviving.

And now I have to move onto something more than that.

I have to start living again.

And I know, this isn’t pretty. I’m sorry if it’s too close to home, or too long and painful to read. But like I said, I had to write this partly for me, and partly for anyone out there who may have been experiencing one, or all, or more, of these things themselves.

Because you are never alone in the struggle to survive, or indeed, the struggle to live.

Even in the midst of it all, I had hands helping to pull me up again. I thought I wouldn’t be able to stand, and there those arms would be; lifting me up so that I could take that one step further. My amazing husband was one who refused to let me just stay trapped. My family, my friends, even random strangers; all these people would reach out and help in unexpected ways, at unexpected times.

Hope - Talking about Chronic Illness and Mental Health | Lavender & Twill

So I am reaching out.

Whether you see it or not, every day you choose to take that one step forward ~ no matter how that looks in your current situation ~ it is is a good thing. It’s one step closer to another day. It’s one step nearer to a different set of choices, and maybe, just maybe, it might be the first day that things change and start to get better.

Hold on.

I made it out of my hole. Even though I still have further to go, I made it past the pitch black and back to the light. I am, once again, becoming something more than just a body trying to survive.

You can too.

xox,

bonita

༺ ♡ ༻

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Friday, December 23, 2016

༺ Swan Lake ༻

Hell Bunny Dress - Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

Hell Bunny Dress - Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

Hell Bunny Dress - Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

"Swan Queen" Boxy-Bag by Teacup Girl Art | Lavender & Twill

Hell Bunny Dress - Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

Sydney University | Lavender & Twill

Hell Bunny Dress - Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

Hell Bunny Dress - Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

Hell Bunny Dress - Vintage Inspired Style | Lavender & Twill

Please don’t laugh at me, but I have kind of been obsessed with ballerinas and the idea of dancing ballet ever since I was a wee lass. It is the first thing I ever remember really, really, really  wanting to do.

I never did get the chance to dance ~ my mother thought my thighs would get fat when I stopped dancing {er, not true I don’t think? Also, why would you stop?} and that my feet would be ruined {true, true, completely true!}. So I was put into gymnastics instead, and for a long while wanted to be a competitive gymnast.

I stopped gymnastics when we moved from Armidale to Canberra, and took up horse riding. {Forever happy I did that! }

However, I have never truly stopped wanting to dance in the bottom of my heart. I sporadically dream I can dance en pointe, effortlessly gliding across light-filled, echoing ball rooms with flying jeté and ceaseless pirouettes.

Then I wake up, and for a moment, I live in the dream ~ only to feel fettered when I remember that my body doesn’t know how to move like that….

Buuuuttttt…  Sometimes that secret desire breaks through and I end up dancing around anyway.

I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this {I sure have while editing my blog pictures!}, but pretty much every time I’m doing a photoshoot in flats, the majority of the photo I’m up in demi-pointe, as high up on my tippy toes as I can be. I rarely take the pictures standing normally! Whoops… (=⌒_⌒=)'

This is particularly a problem if I’m wearing a floaty dress as well as flat shoes.

….Even more so if it’s a windy day when I’m wearing said floaty dress…

Which it most definitely was in these pictures!

That combination meant I spent eighty percent of this photoshoot on my toes. And I didn’t even notice!! I think it was pretty appropriate that I was wearing a “Swan Lake” inspired ensemble and even had a swan painted wooden box bag to match!

Anyway, if you recognize this outfit ~ yes, it is the one I was wearing on the day of this year’s AAVGM.

I had parked my car at Sydney University for the day, and when I was walking to the Rock’n’Roll Markets in the morning, I was walking past all these gorgeous buildings! I found the all the old English influence enchanting, and was longing to take some pictures, but I had to keep going.

However, when I was walking back to the car after saying goodbye to everyone, I thought ~ well, why not take some pictures before I hop in the car and drive home? It’s pretty much my only chance to do so ~ and that settled it.

I grabbed the camera and parked myself in front of the Old Lecturer’s Hall to take my pictures before the rain started blowing in. And when I was done, that was finally the end of my epic solo trip to Sydney.

Yes, I drove up by myself and to be honest, it’s been ages since I’ve done a solo long distance trip in the car {though, does my trip to Bowral count? …Nah ~ I think that was a mini warm up…}, and it was certainly was the first time I’ve done any real driving in Sydney. Does having a GPS count as cheating though?!

I couldn’t have done the trip without it; I’m a hopeless navigator and I tend to get a bit stressed when I’m driving in thick traffic in an unknown city! It’s as bad as trying to find a car park in a busy location when you are running late… Ugh.

But I didn’t have to deal with running late at all this trip which was also a high point for me ~ maybe my dreams of one day being perfectly organized and on time are actually possible!  And maybe, just maybe, one day I’ll learn to dance for real. (•ᵕ ᴗ ᵕ•)❀

xox,

bonita

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Retrimmed Straw Boater Hat | Old
Red Signature Double Roses | Daisy Jean Floral Designs
Swan Lake Hell Bunny Dress | eBay
Ruby Red Patent Belt | Thrifted
”Swan Queen” Boxy-Bag | Teacup Girl Art
Wine Red Lace Wrap Flats | Zulily

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