Friday, May 22, 2015

༺ Really Picture Perfect? ༻

Recently Lauren of Wearing History wrote a very powerful post about Social Media and the Myth of Perfection highlighting the curated reality of social media and the internet. 

She said a lot of things that really resonated with me, and also followed up with a second post, but this line was the key in my mind:

We all put our best foot forward most of the time.  We don’t know what’s going on in their lives.  We can’t see what’s just off to the side of the viewfinder.”

And it’s true.

We put ourselves out there, we share our lives, our successes, and even our failures with people we may know, and many more that we don’t.

So naturally, no matter how honest you are, you are still going to be a curating an image of who you are online. And so does everyone else.  When we see what they are showing us we may think things are amazing, their happiness ‘rate’ is through the sky ~ in short, we start to believe their lives are perfect. 

Just think though, is your life perfect? Nope.

Is it because they have something you don’t?  Not really.

It is the powerful lens of curated social media changing the way we see others. No longer are we just keeping up with our neighbours, the Joneses, we are suddenly compelled to keep up with a lot of Joneses every where.

But the Joneses aren’t picture perfect all the time; and neither am I…

{P.S. ~ Click on the photos to go to the full post!}

Nobody's perfect - Baby Belle's hungry and chewing my thumb | Lavender & Twill

Nobody's perfect - Hungry munchkins | Lavender & Twill

These photos never made it to the blog, but basically it’s two hungry munchkins ~ Isabelle is wanting some food, and so is Theodore, but Mama’s juuust trying to finish this photo shoot guys, can you just hold on a few minutes??

Nobody's perfect - Awkward photos in public | Lavender & Twill

I went to a tiny local park with my son, and then some people showed up to play with their children half way through the shoot. I was standing there with my camera and tripod… Er, awkward much?

But the light was fading sooo fast, and I had photos to take.  What's a blogger to do? Keep shooting and don’t make eye contact of course!

Nobody's perfect - Getting sunburnt taking outfit pics | Lavender & Twill

The sun was so bright in these photos I could hardly keep my eyes open! So many pictures, so many squinty faces…. Oh yeah, and I totally got sunburnt taking these snaps.  (⌒_⌒;)

Nobody's perfect - More awkward photos in public | Lavender & Twill

I always feel like/ somebody's watching meeee/ can’t get no privacy/ whoa-ah!” 

It took me an hour to get the photos for this post, and the entire time I was doing it, some random creeper was sitting on his front porch {off to the side and across the road} drinking beer and watching me run back and forth with my camera + tripod. 

I could literally feel his eyes on me every single second. And he didn’t go inside until I started packing up…. 

Yeah. Those shots were hard to get, I didn’t really like what I ended up with, and no wonder!

Nobody's perfect - Photoshopping photos | Lavender & Twill

I spent ages photoshopping out a random ‘extra’ from this photo. In hindsight, the event was too crowded, and I didn’t try hard enough to get photos in better locations that didn’t have people everywhere. But I just wanted to enjoy a day out with my family, but then I also wanted to get outfit photos and…  Conflict! Drama! And lots of “Urgh. Why do I do this to myself?” afterwards.  (╯°□°)╯彡 ┻━┻

Nobody's perfect - Baby photo bombing | Lavender & Twill

This. Happens. A. Lot. 

Hi babies!  °(• ᴥ • )°

Nobody's perfect - Dressed up, feeling sick | Lavender & Twill

Pregnant with my third child, the all-day sickness I was having still hadn’t subsided by 20 weeks, and continued on until 28 weeks whereupon I got six week reprieve only have the nausea come back with a vengeance at 34 weeks!

On the days I had to go out, I would get up and throw on a frock regardless of how icky I felt. Putting on some nice clothes helped me feel a little more like myself again, and less like a sick whale.

Nobody's perfect - 39 weeks and over it | Lavender & Twill

I’m 39 weeks pregnant. My feet are swollen, my ankles have vanished, my face is puffed up like a marshmallow, my children kept on running into the shots, and I am just D.O.N.E.

Trying to take photos without my brain exploding and smiling at the same time?  Near impossible, but hey! Some how it comes off, though I was seriously doubting that it would at the time… 

Nobody's perfect - Postpartum struggles | Lavender & Twill

I’m almost four weeks postpartum here, and in my post I tried to keep a positive outlook about my body and how it looks, but let’s face it - what I really wanted to do was rant and rave and cry about how nothing fits, I have nothing to wear and I think I look like a big blob because no muscles, no waist and giant nursing boobs taking over my chest and when am I ever going to feel normal again and fit into my dang clothes!!! 

And I’m not gonna lie. At least once a day I still feel like doing that. It’s a long road back from carrying a baby, and every time you do it, there’s something else that changes in your body. Something else that won’t go back quite the way it was before. It’s an adjustment ~ to the new baby and to the new you.  Sometimes you don’t like the new you at all, and sometime you wonder if it’s ever going to be okay again.

But you know it’s worth it, even if it is hard. It’s like plucking a rose from amongst the thorns. You might get damaged in the process, but that beautiful flower is a treasure worth the pain.

So you suck it up, {and in! Thank goodness for corsets!} and keep on doing what you do, because in the end it makes you happy.  ❀(◕ ‿ ◕❀)

༺ ♡ ༻

Now for the caveat. As Lauren says in her follow up post:

Sometimes the image was taken at a time of some of the hardest stories we’ve ever been a part of.  It helps others to understand that the image doesn’t capture how our real life was at the time.  But when we gather them together and are mindful of our own experiences and journey, it can remind us of how far we’ve come.  And if we did it then, we can do it again.  We can never expect smooth sailing through life.  Hard things come, and we get through them and grow stronger and wiser.

Some of the things behind the smile I’ve chosen not to share, because this simply isn’t the place to do that. Or because I haven’t shared it with anyone in my life except those nearest and dearest. 

Really, in the end I’m not posting this because I think my life is so hard ~ I’m so grateful for my family and all the blessings we have. I am aware that they are many and overflowing, and I’m thankful. Rather it’s because I want to document the stuff that really goes on behind the scenes, including the pimples I’ve photoshopped off my face.

I think it’s nice to inject a little bit of ‘reality’ into my online story, not just so that I can remember that it’s not all sunshine and lollipops, but also so that others can see that we are all people behind the pretty pictures.



༺ ♡ ༻

Find me:

Instagram | missbjvear
Pinterest | bjvear
Ravelry | BJVear
Twitter | bjvear
Youtube | Bonita Vear


  1. Ahhh I love her original post and I love yours too - definitely important to "admit" the truth ahahah and remind people that photographs do not always represent the real life

  2. Amen sister! They really aren't, and it's better to always remember that. :D

  3. I've really enjoyed all the posts inspired by Lauren's. I love the point you make about keeping up with all the Joneses!

    Also, "less like a sick whale" is the winning pregnancy description! I'm struggling with the aftermath at the moment too. I've lost some of the weight, but every bit is a battle, and I miss my old body and my nice clothes and my jawline.

  4. I love this post, so much! I really do like reading about the stories behind the photos and could add many of my own about what was happening just to the left or right of the viewfinder! Perhaps I will one day, taking inspiration from you :) Although most of them are going to go along the lines of: "It was really cold this day. Really, really cold. So cold I wanted to cry not wearing a jacket the whole 30 minutes it took taking these photos that I then had to spend hours airbrushing the hair out of my face the wind blew in." In fact, I think that's about 80% of the photos I ever take!! CC x

  5. Remembering that I don't have to keep up with any Joneses is something that I really have to do thanks to my obsessive perfectionist side. It's so easily to find others like yourself on the internet, and even easier to start comparing yourself to them!

    Oh yeah, losing baby weight is so hard... It really is. Especially because your body wants to hold onto the weight "just in case" you somehow end having no food and then you can use those "reserves" aka - your belly, hips, thighs, etc! - to feed bubba. I wish I had a switch for that!

  6. Oh, I really hope you do one - oh - does that sound too weird? But I do enjoy reading "behind the scenes" posts myself. I think it's a great way to get know someone a little bit better, so yeah... That's why I'd like to read your version of this - even lots of "It's cold and windy" can still be fun.

    And yes to photoshopping hair off face, hair strands sticking out weirdly, too much hair frizz... I'm so with you on that! It's funny how everything looks great until you start taking photos right? :P

  7. Everything in yours and Lauren's stellar posts resonates with me to my core, especially since I've been in this mood lately where I kind of feel like I want to overhaul a ton of things in my life (bear with me on why). Objectively, doing so isn't that feasible, but changes and "makeovers", so to speak, of various sorts are and I'm going to be striving for that a lot in the weeks and months to come - not so much to be a different version of myself online, but if anything, to be an even more authentic one.

    I love these sweet, beautiful pictures of you two. They're melt-your-heart adorable! :)

    Big hugs,
    ♥ Jessica

  8. Elizabeth MurdockMay 24, 2015 at 5:35 AM

    I just stumbled upon your blog and I think it's utterly beautiful! x

  9. Thank you and welcome! I hope you enjoying reading, xox

  10. I'm so excited to see what changes you will come up with Jessica! I think that you are already such a relatable 'internet' friend, and I think it will be awesome to be able to share your journey of changes!

    I get that itch myself a lot; but usually only end up dying/cutting my hair differently. XD

  11. All the posts that have been inspired by Lauren's have been so interesting and yours is no exception. Thank you for showing the things that go on just out of the camera's gaze.

  12. They really have been haven't they? I've gone and read everyone's posts and found a few new blogs to follow in the process, so it's been a great way to reach out and connect as bloggers and as readers.

    And you're welcome for sure! :)

  13. Thanks so much for posting. I am thinking of doing that too. I have to say though, that gif is cute as all get out. :P It was brave of you to do, and inspired me too. Thank you!

  14. I would be very interested to see your version of this post Hannah, I'm glad you were inspired! And yeah, Isabelle really is too cute... (> U < )

  15. I loved reading this! It's true, our posts are always curated carefully to represent the "best" of who we are, in the meantime that's not exactly how life behind the camera is going. I've tried taking pictures by myself with a tripod at my local park, and it is SO AWKWARD, my goodness. I hate that feeling when you know someone is watching you from far away and won't take their eyes off of you. Can't people just let us take our pictures in peace?! Haha. Anyway, beautiful photos, and I love the gif especially. You are a beautiful woman and mother with beautiful children!

    xo, Serli

  16. Ooh, the random watchers while you are taking photos is the worst... (> <) I completely agree, why can't they just let us take our photos in peace?? Especially if you were there all by yourself to start with. :P

    And thank you Serli, I'm glad you enjoyed the post. :D



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...